That crazy feeling where you’re like fuck what do I do. Because you wished and prayed for it and now it’s here and you have no clue what to do. If only life were easy and perfect, then life would be boring which is terrible. One day my life will just fall in to place. All these things right now are so not the right time, but why do I care so much? Because that’s just me. I always care even though I know I shouldn’t be. I have a heart. Yeah, at times I don’t but that’s because you’ve pushed me over my limit. Why realize now, now that I’m slowly getting over you? Then all of a sudden, it’s like woosh, you’re back. Why come back? Why say I’ve been thinking you lately? Just why? I’ll never know. So the best way to go about it, is just go with the flow. Don’t think about emotions, feelings. Ignore it. But then again, that’s not good. But fuck. I’m screwed. Sigh, let all the bad things, wrong people disappear in my life. That’s all I need. I need signs. Thanks. 

I can’t believe it’s almost been a year. All the craziness, tough times. Getting over you seemed so difficult because you were all I knew. But now I am given opportunities with other guys but I find myself scared. I’m not sure if I’m completely over you but I know for sure that once I move forward, that’s it. No more looking back. There’s days where I literally sit in my room just thinking about it all and at times I find myself crying because it really was the hardest 3 years of my life but also 3 years worth of lessons learned. I can’t take back anything because I wouldn’t be where I am today. Yeah, I know I’m very confusing but truth is, I’m just scared to commit now due to the past. I have to admit, I get lonely because seriously most everyone I know has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and being the odd ball is a bitch. It’s like why? Why me? I just look at it this way, I have no one to worry but myself, so I’m good. Patience is so hard for me and I can’t believe I’m even surviving this long. All I ask now is an amazing guy who will help shape my life be better than it is now. Someone one will treat me like a princess. Someone who will treat me different from others in a good way. Someone who will always be by my side. And mostly someone who makes me happy and not bring problems. Life’s too short to be arguing because from the past, I’m not putting up with that shit. I will surely walk away and say bye. It’s driving me insane being alone but I’m doing just fine. Getting stronger by the minute. Someone unexpected will come in my life and take me by surprise and I can’t wait for that. In the mean time, F.U.N. is going to happen. :)

Why is it that every time someone looks like you, I can’t help but think of you. Think back to all our amazing memories. The times where we laughed and didn’t care. The times where you made that effort to talk to me not once, but three times a day for 3 months straight. It’s been like 2 months since we’ve talked and it’s crazy how in an instant, a little reminder of you makes me smile. We’re both going our separate ways now and it’s the best for the both of us. Always take care. <3

Once again, the night had to be ended abruptly. It’s interesting how every time we hang out something “memorable” happens. One day, it’ll happen. But dang, ugh. ugh. ugh. But I had an amazing night. :D 

Of not having to worry about anything or anyone. Peaceful. :)

I couldn’t be any happier with my life. Though things aren’t where they are, I’m just so blessed. I have such an amazing family and friends who support me, who are there to comfort me, and who are always there no matter what. Somethings in life used to phase me but now it’s like why waste your energy on that. You live and learn. Life’s too short. Just be happy and make the most of it. And if things you least expect happen, go for it because you only get one shot. It won’t hurt until you try. My life has done a 180 from where I was last year. And I’m just thankful for everything, for the people who’ve helped me and for the new people in my life who’s done nothing but have a positive impact. Never give up when you feel like it because in the end it’s worth it. (: 

There’s a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. 

When you’re feeling down or feeling lost, the best place to go is church. When times got tough and too much to handle these last months, going to church just made it better. I knew every time I walked in, I was loved no matter what I had done. And I was forgiven. Church is my home. I’ll always enjoy the wonderful feeling I get especially singing for God and singing with people who share the same desires with you. I thank God for leading me the right way and showing me signs. Be grateful for what you have and be blessed. Happy sunday! (: